A Thank You, A Sorry

A Thank You, every time I saw your wounded eyes;

I got a reason to heal my broken parts

Now, I became so resilient;

No matter what, No matter whom,

Now, I’m just so stoic for life…Thank you

A Sorry, for killing you with my half-love;

Trust me, I gave my all like never before

But it seems I’m not enough for you…

And every time, I chose to remain silent

My silence and distance also seems to kill you a little more…

Now, I don’t know what to do,

And I just wanna go…far…so far..Sorry

A Thank You, the guilt of not being able to love you as you wanted;

Made me realise how to love myself first to love you right

Now, I radiate that love and empathy

To the whole world, hoping

Someday, Somehow, all this will reach you in some form…Thanks

A Sorry, I never really told you;

Though there were many people who vanished my darkness

Pull me out of my walls,

It was only you, with who’s presence

My whole world shines bright leaving no room for darkness…

I’m so sorry, I never really told you

Everytime, you go far, the darkness inside me eats myself;

But the love you gave me gives strength to fight against it;

So I may look alright from the outside…

I’m sorry, I haven’t told you;

Yes, there are many people as passing clouds

But you remain as my blue sky

A Thank You, I still remember how I curled inside your arms

That day, trust me…Ever since, I never fear this world;

For I knew, my feminity had a safe place to rest

A Sorry, I had to leave since it was too late

I didn’t like, the same person who made me flourish like a flower

Is pushing me to a point to be like a thorn…I’m Sorry

I didn’t like, when you try so hard to get my love

When you have it all already

I didn’t like, when you obsess over me

When I want a healthy balance to lead our life

I didn’t like, when you wear two different masks

I didn’t like, when you doubt yourself

I didn’t like, when you shrink and bend yourself

I didn’t like, when you feel less about yourself

I didn’t like, when you let yourself down for others

I didn’t like, when you try to cover your pain with anger

I didn’t like, when you mistake arrogance with confidence

I didn’t like, when you ask me to change as you loved this girl only before

I didn’t like, when you compromise righteousness for being included

I didn’t like, when you pretend to be cruel to protect yourself

Instead of actually healing your insecurities and developing courage

I didn’t like, you being lost over me

I didn’t like, that I’m not next to you to calm you down and

Bring back your strength in a kiss.

I didn’t like, when my heart shivers to contact you

I didn’t like, the feel of I don’t have rights on you;

I didn’t like, not being protected by your arms

I didn’t like, not being provided with your love

I didn’t like, the gifts others buy me

I didn’t like, that I couldn’t look into your eyes and fall asleep

I didn’t like, I’m here and you’re there

And I didn’t like, you’re taking no efforts to come closer to me…

And most of all, I hate it,

I totally hate it, when you sacrifice me instead of taking care of me

And if your own insecurities stops you,

Instead of fighting with that, you fight with me,

And I didn’t like it.

Someday, Life and time will tell you my side of story,

Someday you’ll realise, it’s waste of time to pretend as somebody else

Someday you’ll see yourself, via my eyes;

Someday you’ll believe in yourself like I do;

Someday you’ll want children and home with me;

Someday you’ll want me

Come in search of me, when you do so…

But don’t be too late,

I can’t promise you forever then

Until, I’ll remain quiet

Nomatter if it’s in this life or later,

Nomatter if it’s in this planet or other,

Until, that day I’ll remain quiet

Writing Poems, Singing your name;

I’ll remain amongst these swans, coloured in white;

Until, just know I loved everyone the same way you love me;

I too was believing, to love someone is to die;

But it was only you who made me realise,

The happiness of living,

You brought the sunshine in my world,

It was only you, who made me realise;

To Love is to live…

It was only you,

who gave me courage to see the colours

And create beautiful dreams;

Now, Suddenly, You’re asking me to prove my love,

Can’t you understand, what have you done?

You changed a suicidal person into someone who wants to live

And Can’t you understand? If my love wasn’t true,

Why I would’ve changed?

I don’t mind giving my life for you,

I don’t mind once again rotting in pain,

but it won’t have a single meaning…

I don’t want our true love to become vanished bewtween ourselves;

I wanna give you a life that I dreamt for us

I wanna create offsprings that sings our name

I wanna show the whole world who my lover is,

I wanna walk in pride beside you,

I wanna sleep on your chest  everynight  until I die,

I wanna see you create an empire for those suffered like us,

I wanna see you standing tall against evils of this world,

I wanna enjoy rainbows with you,

I wanna live, I wanna sleep

You’re getting it? I wanna live

Knowing that you’ll always love me,

Then, that day I’ll peacefully go to God…

And if its not this, I don’t want anything;

Let us be in peace,

Knowing that I loved you and You loved me…

A Thank You & A Sorry…for everything…

-    - Sivambika S